Time Check

And than everything stopped for a second. Days passed in an enrolling interview of life in which questions didn't make much sense until they were asked again. "Tell me little one, what do you want to be when you grown up?"Anything but what I am now said the man enraged with himself for denying his denial. I can be something else, completely abnegate a former existence so a new one can lead to more proper endings. Preposterous Insolence. One can never legitimate a future self once he obliterates what it once was. Search beyond the misty encounter that lays ahead, you shall know what you seek.

Find North

All that stirred mass is somehow solidifying. The antagonistic existence that I'm living now is surreal. From a moment of pure uncertainty to a well established emotional response. This been with emotions that are completely opposite of what could be expected given the situation. May a cathartic situation have caused this? So when was it? What was it? The, once again,  uncertainty of what had been the trigger leads to a state of discomfort towards the response I'm now having. The intensity of opposite energy is overwhelming therefor the defense mechanism is triggered and that clock ticking compass starts to unravel its need to find home.

Fucked Up Life

I often wonder how fucked up a life can be and when I look at my life I'm sure that there's no limit. I've been withholding a lot of emotions and desires what I believed to be good for me 'couse I know how messy things can get.

But something happened and I lost my balance.

I tried to stay put but I started to stray and with everything so hazy I needed to find solid ground. I needed comfort, to feel safe, guarded. But with everything stirring out of control inside me how could I? Once you lose the grasp on the randomness of that Chaos it's hard to get it back.

I did my best, but I couldn't feel it. I don't know how to feel it, how to accept it. As a matter of fact I believe I never did. A new process that I had forgotten about. Important but how to touch that place inside if, right now, you have no idea of what you might be bringing back???